so basically I nonly feel like eating is justified if I do at least one workout and a power walk a day! I did not do my power walk today! I feel like Im eating way too much now! I just want my period back so I can be thin but at a weight where I dont risk osteporosis or infertility! Also I would like to stop being such a freak about food! I dont wna be calculating calories in my head all day and at nite tinking about what Ill eat da next day! I dont even wna type da list of what Im eating right now! Theres this family dinner on friday and as soon as I heard about it its like I either make an excuse to get out of it or I starve all week in order to go but still not want to eat any of the food available but clearly now after my moms and uncles comments Im going to be monitored yah no?!
I need to tell my mom I wna tlk to sum1 and get myself sorted! I dont wana get further into this viscious cycle but I feel like thats whats gonna happen bc of the fact that I dont really have much to focus on right now! xxx
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I totally know whatcha mean! Stuck between a rock and a hard place. I've BEEN getting all anxious about Thanksgiving and it's still 3 weeks away! All because I have no control over what will be in front of my face (as far as menu...and the temptation. I get to eliminate all these things when I'm home).
ReplyDeleteI haven't had my period in like 3-4 months??? But I'm still fat!! I hate this! I'm too scared to eat more calories! I can't handle it if there is a bigger number on the scale!
Exercise is a good thing but don't get crazy over one day Lex! ...okay, well TRY to let it go, it only makes you all sad and stuff. Do you remember what it was like when you first started dieting? You had to remind yourself that you were on a diet, trying to be conscious of what goes in and not to just take a bite of this or that. It took time and practice, right? We basically brainwash ourselves into EDs!!
Does that make sense???
Focus on what you want and remind yourself of why you are doing what you are doing- the big picture. You are eating a bit more because you want to have a family one day and healthy bones!
Be strong & healthy Lexy! You got yourself to where you are, it's up to you to get yourself where you want to be!!
I love you!!