Tuesday, 27 October 2009


I am writing to say good bye! I am currently in rehab! My family have called me on my behaviour I am being monitored and guess what I want help! I have no periods and no boobs. I am unhappy. I am under 7 stone. Im depressed. I dont see how making my life revolve around my daily calorie intake was going to be helpful but it did seem like it would be at the time and now I have to sort out one hell of a fucked up mind!
Im going to eat like a normal person. not binge and not restrict. Im gonna look and feel healthy. Im going to exude confidence and make myself be fun around! Im going to not stress out my family about having meals out and all that malark! Im still gonna be healthy and workout so dont think Im going off to become a huge heffer or netin! Anyway Ive got to stop blogging and sort myself out! blogging did help to some extent but reading all your blogs made me feel like I was never restricting or dieting enough. My mom spoke to me and reminded me off the pain my nanny was in when she got osteoporosis and all that and about the risks of infertility. I dont want that in my life. Why am I abusing my body?! Its going to be hard but I want to actually be a healthy person and Im going to be!
Please just ask yourselves why are you doing this? I realised looking back at photos that I was never fat and back then I was eating doughnuts and meat!!! I didnt binge or restrict! I didnt overly think about it I just ate what I ate when I wanted and when I was hungry! I want to go back to that! but never c myself eating a doughnut again haha but you never no! what are you looking to accomplish? this is not the way! I hope this makes some one rethink their actions but I think youl have to realise it yourselves and hopefully it wont be too late. I always used to say like a lot of ppl when I reach this weight and when I can fit in this and that......it doesnt mean shit! its about you! how you feel in your own skin! fucking stop counting calories ditch the focking scales live your life! love your life! and love yourself! bc you deserve happiness and you control your happiness and this is not the way to happiness so pls pls pls pls pls get out before your in too deep!
best of luck to everyone! and especially to my dear blogger friend Flushed who always looked out for my happiness!! IPlease still feel free to email me!


  1. Good luck in recovery, dietlexy! I wish you the best in all that you do here on out - you are so brave. xx, TOIC

  2. While I'm super sad that you will no longer be blogging, it's nothing compared to the happiness I feel that you know what you want and are going after it. I have been wondering how you are doing. I love that you are finding your road to happiness. Trial and error baby! Life is a journey!

    I love you Lex!

    (will be e-mailing :)

  3. Wow I will really miss your blog, but I wish you all the best and all the happiness in the world! I hope you get what you need and want in rehab - you have a lot of courage.
    All my love
    Ophelia xx