picking up the pieces

well Im tryna srt out my life and come to terms with the fact that Im not going back to dance college. A very hard reality! In terms of eating I think this is bad as I was considoring adapting a healthy diet when I was dancing but now I feel that all I have going for me is that people think Im thin. also had a really gud talk with my best friend about eating. When I first met her I was relativevly normal about food but she told me that during the summer b4 we started that she had to train herself to sit down and eat with ppl. We are both fattists and share similiar views on food but shes less strict with her eating. She knows Im weird and respects that which is good.
well anyway today I tried to sort out what to do with the year ahead of me. Im doing my course in personal training and alongside it I wanted to do a course in sports massage but to do that I had to do a course in holistic massage which in total costs liike 4 grand!! but for the same price I can do a full time sports therapy course where I get all these qualifications which are pretty gud on top of my fitness instructor qualification!

• Diploma in Sports Therapies
• Certificate in Sports Taping & Strapping
• ITEC Diploma in Diet and Nutrition
• ITEC Diploma in Sports Massage
• ITEC Diploma in Gym Instruction
• ITEC Diploma in Holistic Massage

So this course is full time for one year 3 days a week and hopefully I will meet some hotties! haha! Plus it will help me get into proper proper college next yr where I can do sports science or nutrition and dietetics! woop I can actually make a living out of being obsessed with diet and exercise!
I wonder what its gonna be like eating with a different group of people!Like before I could always say the well Im a dancer thing! Im gonna miss that status! tear! Anyway the course in right in Dublin city which is kul! can go on dates after haha cinema or shopping or town watever I want!
So I have till Oct 15th b4 it starts and I might be getting laser eye surgery b4 then!
so I dont no what to do with my time b4 then!
Im going to Berlin and Prague nxt tuesday! yah! 9 days of sex is my plan!
Then Ill come back a sexually confident skinny girl!
Going out 2mro night Mark will be there! well hopefully and we better totally score!!
Going out Saturday aswell where he also better be haha!
Dnt no what else to do with my life. As sn as I start college it will be hard to wrk out as much which I am scared about but at the moment I have too much free time and Im too tired to ill it with working out. I think I defo need carbs soon Im practically hungry all the time snack snack snacking on fruit! 2mro Im havin a major veggie stir fry round lunch time b4 heading off to my friends then Ill just snack till I drink!
drank loadsa weight loss tea today
xx