Right heres da deal. I had a very gud wkd! haha I went out to a gaf prty on friday and out out on saturday so I didnt eat very much those days. I had da usual fruit yoghurt and kidney bean salad. Im back down to half a tin of kidney beans again which is good bc the yoghurt is the same amount of calories as the other half so it balances out. My friend and I are pretty broke so we decided to bring our trainers and walk home from da gaf party! It was a 50 min walk at 5 o clock in da morning! haha! but anyway something awful happened at the party! I hadnt seen these girls in ages we used to be in ballet together before I moved away for dance college. One of my friends I used to always be so jealous of her. Perfect little ballet body! I used to luk at her in envy! She looked so delicate and it added such grace to her dancing! Everything she did was just like wow! She used to say she was just naturally like that and that she really loved chocolate and all dat jazz and of course I believed her and told her all about how I wasnt thin enough yaddy yaddy yaddy! anyway I walked into the party and say Ashley sitting on a bean bag drinking a herbal tea skeletal! I got such a fright! I think she could c it in my face! I wanted to cry! she was so little. I wanted to shake her and say dont do this pls dont do this. I felt like she could drop dead at any stage! We sat down and talked and I said I didnt wna tlk about my yr bc its been ne of the hardest of my life and that I didnt wna make up shit and pretend it was all dandy like! so she told me that her yr was really hard to and she got sick and cudnt go to college. and she cant go until she puts on weight. I was glad she was open about it and I was drunk so I was just like I no its hard but just do it! I no its way easier said then done bc u say it but then as soon as da weight goes on its such a shock! put we talked abut how messed u p food can make ur mind! and if it wasnt a party we could of tlked about it all night! Then my friend Stacey and I who have become great friends. wer da ones that walked home haha she became a vegetarian after visiting me for a wkd! and her family hate me for it but omg! She told me all bout how shes become obsessed with counting calories! I didnt tell her how messed up I am but she nos some of it! and I think she nos. I think shes thinner than me like but shes always like ur clothes wont fit me their too small but I dont c it! it really scared me bc I think my perception of my body is totally messed up now! My other friend who I went out with last night was like wow lexy u luk mazing in ur dress u are so thin! I dnt c it or feel it but wen I do luk at pics Im like wow are my legs rly like that and stuff! and yday I did a massive toilet trip if u get me! I felt amazing totally amazing! then I pushed it and decided Id have a laxee tea aswell but it made me bloat like crazy! I cried and went to show my mom bc I wanted her to c wat Im tlkin bout wen I say Im bloated nadn of course she was like I dont c anything! if u think u luk bloated u have messed up body image blah blah blah! anyway today of course I wasnt going out so I ate too much fruit just there! but I stopped eating at 8.15 which is good for me! Im gna get it to 8 2mro bc Im having a massive party nxt wkd and I wna luk skeletal! anyway right my moms friend and daughter went on a detox for 5 days and they made this o points weight watchers soup! it is amazing! its da first time Ive tried sumtin different in ages!!!!!!!! it was butternut squash and pumpkin with curry powder! u no kick start da metabolism! I tink Im gna try mix up my diet a bit and add different spices keep da body having different food so my digestion doesnt get sluggish! I also walked home fromo my friends house da next day after the gaf party another 50 mins Id say andn did well over an hour of body conditioning and been doing walks and conditioning religiously every day since. Im contemplating starting yoga 2mr but I rly dont wna go alone yah no! but I wna do it! screw it Ill go haha! I have my driving test on wednesday and a pre test and physio on tuesday but Ill c wat I can do! thin thin thin! for my party for interailing! omg I did say if I do yoga Id eat carbs! so Ill eaither ave brown rice with veg at lunch or sum oats with my yoghurt! mmm g2 love those alpro soya yoghurts! cant bliv I used to eat da muller lights now! even tho they were amazing! I think the injury is healing well just need my neck and shoulder to be sorted and then I can go back to dance college at the end of september! I really hope I can go back bc without dancing I will just be a girl who will end up with ed! bc Il have nutin else to focus on yah no?!!! wow this is turning into a massive post! right so plan for 2mro! walk! possibly yoga! mmm wel c! Im doing so many inner thigh exercises and arms exercises and I can feel them working! damn wna hot body! also think Ive found a sex buddy! Im meeting up with this guy Lucas during the week! I met him at a club b4 we didnt even kiss. Hes from prague and has a deadly accent and lux hot! mmm so wel c! he said do u wna go for coffee?! coffee eh no! vodka yes please haha so wel c!
anywho dats da scandal! Ill keep u updated bout my friend ashley bc I must talk to her! its gud to be able to tlk I think! she wont judge me! I think the focus should be on being healthy tho!
Im reading loads of womans fitness mags I prefer to focus on them then celebrity magazine right now! xx
if anyone wants me to post the recipe for the soup let me no! o points eh eh?! x