Monday, 8 June 2009

kill me now

K I think Im becoming depressed. Its not over eating its over my injury. I dont knoww how my eating went today. I got up had my yoghurt and hemp protein and seeds. then didnt eat for ages then got a good bit of fruit but only had one box of grapes which is good but I wasnt satified. Got some watermelon which I love but it was cut into tiny little pieces! whatever! had my dinner which I love and now Im about to have my laxee tee. Only one left after this one.
I feel like my life is going nowhere. Like this blog has represented what like the last 3 weeks of my life and nothing has changed. Hopefully my arms will start to tone up bc Ive been doing lots of exercises but I really need to do cardio once my foot gets sorted. Im going to get a massage on wednesday! I need one. I actually dont no whats going on with me right now. Maybe its bc Im on my period which Im n ot used to being on but I feel all over the place. My mom is really supportive but shes really pushing me to have a plan B incase I dont recover properly and cant dance next yr! Id actually rather die and start life over again then considor that. I dont want my parents to know how upset I am over here at moment but I am. Im considoring going on anti depressants 2mro altho I dont know if that will help anything. I have an addictive personality. hence why I obsess over things.
Its my friends birthday on wednesday and wer going to Frankie and Bennies. I dont know what to order. Either a side salad or fries and not eat them! mmm Im gonna push da omg my money hasnt gone into my account excuse haha! I hate spending money on food ewwww.
Im loving adding frozen spinach to my little veggie stir fries so good with garlic and lemin. I used to always add dolmio bolegnase light sauces but who needs da extra calories! Im enjoying being a vegan. And I definelty havent been as bloated. I think this summer when I go home Im going to try having 6 small meals a day. Im also gonna be doing a 30 day course of brikram yoga. You do a class a day for 90 mins. Its so intense but its so good for u. Also gonna try go swimming regularily.
No luck finding jobs today. Whatever dont even no if I care. The only place I actually would of liked to work was da pet store bc I love animals! Id really love the company of one now. Just to sit around da house with.
Is it better to eat alpro soya yoghurts as opposed to muller light yoghurts?!
Alpro soya organic- calium, live in cultures, low in saturated fat, amino acids, omega 6&3, no artificial additives
98 kcal
11.9 sugar
2.8 Fat
0.5 saturates
0.2 salt
Muller Ligthts- virutally fat free with sugar and sweeteners.
100 kcal
12.4 sugars
Theres barely any fat or saturated altho theres is carbs! mmmm..
I dont no why Im doing this! I once loved these yoghurts so much! binged on 5 one time then vowed never to eat them again! but now Im over them even though I dont think the alpro ones are as nice I feel better for eating them.

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